October 8 2008
Yesterday my husband forwarded me an email thread between him and one of our neighbors who happens to be stationed in Iraq for a few months. Kudos to them for making me laugh yesterday after I stared at a dog with failing kidneys all day. It went a little something like this...
Husband: You have access to email on your "trip"
Neighbor: Yes I have email access; however, it's kind of limited. How are things in the real world? If you get the chance to visit, this place is just great! I can't believe how much fun it is here. I never want to leave.
Husband: Good to know you are enjoying your time. I heard the sand is made out of gold dust and soft like baby powder.
Do you need anything shipped to you – soft toilet paper, books, etc. Just let me know if I can do anything to make your trip easier.
Neighbor: Iraq sucks, I do the same shit every single day. Wake up, eat, go to work, eat, run, watch a movie, repeat. At least I'm not getting mortared. Next time we have a War on Terror let's go to somewhere good, like Portugal or Brazil.
Amazingly the food here is good and there is ice cream, Baskin Robins ice cream nonetheless. And the toilet paper is not too bad. If you could just send some water that would be ace. We are in a water shortage and are only allowed to shower 3 days a week. Jealous?
There is fake beer which doesn't taste too bad, but lacks that magical ingredient that gets you fucked up. My constitution will be pretty weak when I get back. Some of the people here are fun, while others are boring. I miss getting liquored up and playing frisbee golf.
Vote Obama.
Husband (to me): Think he likes it there?
Me: You know - you really can be an asshole.
That poor guy is suffering for you and all you can do is make fun of him and torment him with the thought of warm showers and cold beer (albeit the two together are quite lovely).
What's next...are you going to offer to send him a boatload of halloween candy and only send over those crappy charleston chews that no one EVER eats?
Husband: I was thinking of getting a Hummer to support his cause in the desert.
I left it at that. :-)
